Why is it that expectations we place on others affects us so much. Are we not our own people? Are we not supposed to make our own decisions based on what's best for us? Why should we expect others to act in accordance to our expectations? Common courtesies aside, you can tell more about a person from what they do than what they say.
We all know someone, or many people, who are so into their lives that they don't care about others. They go where they want, when they want and do what they want, when they want without caring how it affects others. Is there something wrong with that? To the others I guess. To that person, it's who they are.
Is that good enough though, to excuse them because "that's who they are"? I don't think so. I mentioned common courtesies earlier. These include calling people on their birthdays or other days that are special to them. Remembering special days. Being thoughtful and anticipating what someone would like and doing random acts of kindness. One smile or kind word can turn someone's day around, and it doesn't take much time out of your day to do it.
Had a situation this week where it was my wife's birthday. It's customary in our family to call the person who's birthday it is and sing/wish them a happy birthday. Most of us are good about doing it, but there are a few who are caught up in their worlds and either don't have time or take the time to call. As much as I can say that that's to be expected, and that's who they are, it hurts, because after 16 years of marriage, my wife is as much an extended family member as the rest of us. However, what hurt the most is when our oldest daughter didn't call. My wife said to let it go, she had a good birthday, it's okay, she's learned not to expect much from some people so she won't be disappointed. Well, I wasn't fine with it. I called our daughter and told her I wasn't real happy that she didn't call her mother on her birthday. She needs to realize that what she does affects other people. My sister tells me not to give up on those that are close to us, but careless in their actions. Okay I won't give up on them, but I'm not going to give them a green light to continue to get away with their unthoughtfulness. I'll let them know that they forgot to do something or call someone and I'll remind them several times. When the time comes where I know they just don't care, then I'll start to drift to giving up on them.
What do you expect?
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I get disappointed constantly - is it sad that we have to completely lower our expectations of society so we don't get let down and instead see it as what is will be. I am usually the person that everyone can rely and depend on and I am the constant caller and reminder (I stopped reminding people of birthdays a few years ago - on purpose) what happens when I don't "do my job?" when I don't call when I am not there to help when i don't show up to a party??? All he!! breaks loose yet it is perfectly acceptable for other - with that being said I still go to the parties even though I am tired and I have had a long week and I would rather knit and watch a movie because I know that these are the people who mean the most to me and who will always be there for me if I ever really needed them. I go because family is important to me and I am not about to let that go because once again I was slighted by someone and I go because it is my job in life to try to be the best person that I can be and if anything I will try to be a role model to others. I go because life is short and you never know when the people that you care about will be taken away from you and I go because it is important to the people who are there.
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